I post 99% homestuck beware ok bye
kid:dad whats a 69
dad:well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]
Notes
112480
Posted
4 hours ago

ittybittynymphette:

I’m a gentle fragile forest creature so don’t ever yell at me you fucking fuck or I’ll eat you.

(via ravingsalem)

Notes
104055
Posted
4 hours ago

ask-blood-soaked-pancakes:

the-ackerman-queen:

chrysalisgrey:

do you bite your thumb at us sir

i do bite my thumb sir

do you bite your thumb at us sir

no sir i do not bite my thumb at you sir but i bite my thumb sir

image

Attack On Shakespeare 

image

I’m sorry, but it had to be saved.

(via amporas)

Notes
13417
Posted
4 hours ago

kansass:

lets play a game called are u bad at texting back or do u hate me

(via pizza)

Notes
145256
Posted
14 hours ago

christineismychapel:

poehlerfey:

YOU SPOIL THOR AND I WILL FIND YOU AND END YOU

Too late. I already bought him a new video game and a pony. His bed time is never.

(Source: poehlerfey, via turntechgettinhead)

Notes
194553
Posted
22 hours ago

corrupted-teens:

Do you ever feel people staring at you and you like forget how to walk

(via hypothetical-goldfish)

Notes
364759
Posted
22 hours ago

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

tellthemwhoiwillbe:

While you wait for the waiter, 

in that moment

do you not become the waiter

this website goes from saying the sound a car makes is nyoom to deep philosophical questions so fast it gives me whiplash 

(Source: samwizegamgee, via ivixola)

Notes
337509
Posted
22 hours ago
mojoflower:

lemonsharks:

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

this pun is unsafe

omg.  a LAB JOKE.  this brings me so much joy.

mojoflower:

lemonsharks:

library-of-crazy-221b:

niknak79:

He’s tripping on acid

I tried to scroll past

this pun is unsafe

omg.  a LAB JOKE.  this brings me so much joy.

(via secretivewordsmith)

Notes
351180
Posted
1 day ago

bunfoot:

SAY IT WITH ME

  • the mitochondria are not “deep”
  • the mitochondria are not “quirky”
  • the mitochondria are the fucking powerhouse of the cell
  • STOP ROMANTICIZING MITOCHONDRIA

(via squeakadeeks)

Notes
73929
Posted
1 day ago
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